inbox:

Think of the most attractive person you know. Now imagine them sitting on the toilet, having extreme diarrhea.

crrocs:

i have seen the depths of hell

fake-mermaid:

how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago

khajiduh:

if i were famous, i’d go to a red carpet event in a fashionable tan leather dress, and when they asked me who i was wearing, i’d say ‘i don’t know her name, but she had a beautiful complexion, didn’t she?’

dickspeightjr:

dickspeightjr:

what did hitler say right before he died

i did nazi that coming

just kidding hitler killed himself

blowmeblaine:

blowmeblaine:

blowmeblaine:

the worst thing is when you have crumbs in your bra

also when there are crumbs in your keyboard and the keys wont work right

the two most important things in every girl’s life

the boobs and the laptop

breadboxes:

breadboxes:

what did vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot 

“where did my van gogh”

thepigwholived:

laughcentre:

ah someone give me a job pls

what kind of job do you want a hand or a blow